i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
