If i come over, it means nothing
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
