Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
