someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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