Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
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This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i think my cat just said my name.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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