i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
