he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
