i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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