I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
