what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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