dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
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Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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