I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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