is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
