OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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