Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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