It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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