and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
