She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
