I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
