exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
