It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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