This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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