my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
