I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
