She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
