He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I could fuck to npr.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
