I got chris browned last night
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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