They should really pass out barf bags in church
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
