hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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