you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
