Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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