It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
