dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
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No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
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I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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