And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
