doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
