I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
