Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
