I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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