I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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