sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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