Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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