I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
