I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize