Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
