I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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