question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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