I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
