Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
