I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
