some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
