I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
