I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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