i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
