Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
