I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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