There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
