erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
