we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
