Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
