i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
