you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
