She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
