So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
