i wish my penis had a tongue
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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