Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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